Alright Ladies, it’s that time of the year again. Just a friendly reminder!! Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:
(The Posh Open Toe Warm Weather Pledge)
As a member of the Posh Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wear sandals and other open-toe shoes during the warm weather months:
I promise to be classy and always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps. I don’t care if they were 50% off and you think they sparkle right. No.
I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe. I will keep the nails trim and clean with Cuticle Cutie so they don’t look like they can scoop dip at the BBQ.
I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow with a Snarky Bar ASAP. There are 5 flavored of Snarky, treat yo self.
I will shave the hairs off my big toe with my Love the Dark body scrub and I will body butter like I mean it.
I won’t wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.
If a strap breaks, I won’t duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.
I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl’s if my feet need him or partner Schwanky and Soft exfoliating lotion with a Rubby Scrubby stick everyday to keep the fungui away.
I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids’ sizes. It does not matter how many Cool My Soles I bought, no one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle without a proper stock of Hot Pepper Sha Bang sticks.
I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages and I will rinse my feet with cool water to calm the swelling.
I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.
I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.
I will have a healer stick with me at all times to prevent blisters and cuts from causing me to yell obscenities in the street at people passing by.
I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear after a night out because nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals from your self tanner leaking off your body after stepping in puddles outside of a night club.
All of this I do swear or take my Mojito away!
Think of humanity: Don’t keep this to yourself – pass it on to other sisters. www.prettyonposh.com
PS- Limited time only! Get a Free Vegan Heebie Jeebie Foot peel when you purchase the cool and warm your soles products – Woot Woot – Save $20!!! that’s amazing!